book review: anger: wisdom for cooling the flames by thich nhat hanh
11 Jan 2024
Anger: Wisdom for Cooling the Flames by Thich Nhat Hanh
What are the main ideas?
- we can feed our anger (with what we consume, physically and spiritually) or we can diffuse (with mindfulness)
- we must take care of our anger because it is ours and because it can become a barrier to connecting with others and ourselves
- we must take care of our own anger before we can tend to anything in anyone else. if someone has started to burn down your house, the first thing to do is to put out the fire, not to go chasing after the person who started it. or if a baby starts crying because of someone else, tend to the baby before you chase the person who made the baby cry.
- if we sit with our anger, it can lead us to insight, understanding, and compassion. if we do not, it can be toxic. just like potatoes, if we cook them, they can be nourishing. if we eat them raw, we can get sick from them.
- tending to the anger in ourselves can create shifts in other people because we are all connected. them seeing us be different could create insight for them.
- anger can be caused by wrong perception aka misunderstanding of a situation. if that happens, reach out to anyone involve as soon as you have cultivated enough mindfulness and let them know what you’ve learned so that you can restore your relationship.
- love is always there, even when anger or despair are present. just like the sun is always there, even if there are clouds the appear to be making it go away.
[note: i only pulled out lessons from the first 4 chapters of the book because i ran out of time writing this review. if i find more time later, i will write out lessons from chp 5-10. but i wanted to post this rather than wait and maybe never post it at all.]
If I implemented one idea from this book right now, which one would it be?
tend to my anger first. sit with it mindfully and let it teach me. then chose which action(s) to take to move towards right relationship.
How would I describe the book to a friend?
i love this book. each chapter is anchored on a theme but inside each chapter are short essays that seem to standalone as much as they relate to each other. this was my toilet reading for many, many months and i really enjoyed reading each little essay and letting it sink in before moving to the next. thich’s (and maybe zen buddhism’s) approach to tending to anger is so different than what i grew up learning. this book was a simple, beautiful, full-of-metaphors way to learn a different way of being with anger.
reminder: book review structure
words / writing / post-processing
465w / 15min / 3min